The Lord of the Left Shoe
by The One To Rule Them All
Summary: Freddo has been summond by Grandalf to find the Left Shoe of evil! Will he succeed? Or wil he die? Only i decide!
1. The One Shoe!

**The Lord of the Rings- GoNe WrOnG! (otherwise known as- The Lord of the Left Shoe)**

A/N: This is my second GoNe WrOnG! Yahoo! This is for people who don't mind or love it when authors make fun of media! Muahahahahahah! Well if you're not one of those people, go away and do something worthwhile! Anywayz, please enjoy and review!

**Chapter 1- The one shoe!**

'Twas a sunny day in the land of Upper Earth. In a small village called Bobbiton there was a Bobbit called Freddo. He lived a peaceful life, full of books and nicely shaved feet.

A Bobbit was a tall creature with long brown hair and shaved feet.

Freddo was pondering the meaning of life in his house in a tree. Suddenly a small granny walked up to his tree house and knocked on the trunk.

"Hello? Who is it?" Freddo asked peeking out of his window

"It is an old friend of your dearly departed brother!" The granny called

"Really? Well come on up!" Freddo called

The old lady climbed the tree with great difficulty. When she finally got to the top she turned to Freddo.

"My dear boy," She panted, "My name in Grandalf, and I am here to ask you to continue the quest that your brother never completed. The hunt for The One shoe!"

Freddo stared vacantly for a while.

"Okay, what kind of quest are we talking about here?" Freddo asked

"Sit down and I'll explain everything!" Grandalf ordered.

_The legend of the one shoe is as follows-_

_An evil creature named Solron made a pair of magical shoes. The one who wore both of them had the power over good and evil. The right shoe controlled good and the left controlled evil. If the shoes were worn by good then evil would be at a downfall if they were worn by evil, the world of good would be overpowered. Freddo's brother Bigbo was sent out to destroy the shoes for the good of all Upper Earth. He had already destroyed the right shoe, but then tragically he tripped over his shoelace and fell down a hole. He died 3 seconds later. Now Freddo had to destroy the remaining shoe to stop Upper Earth running amuck! _

"So as you can see, it is crucial for you to destroy that left shoe!" Grandalf ordered, "Now pack your things and we'll head off at once! But you cannot go alone so bring along your gardener! They did that in Lord of the Rings so it seems appropriate."

Freddo packed a rucksack and grabbed his gardener, Boab, and they headed off towards the Palace of the Pixies.

* * *

Me: yay! it is done! Muahahahahahahaha!

Freddo: huh?

Me: never mind...review peeps!


	2. The quest continues

A/N: Hello! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Lord of the Left Shoe! Muahahahahahaha! Anyway! Thanks for any reviews!

Twister91: Yes tripping over a shoelace and dying 3 seconds later is hilarious! Meh heh heh heh! Enjoy!

Beastfire: I'm glad you liked it:D Enjoy the next hilarious chapter!

Uniquechick: LOL glad you enjoyed it! Enjoy the next exciting installment!

**Chapter 2: The Quest Continues**

The Palace of the Pixies was located in Oceandell.

They were greeted by 10-inch pixies with short black hair.

"Hello there!" One of them said, "I believe you are the travellers looking for the Left Shoe?"

Freddo and Boab nodded.

"Uh huh," it replied, "Well follow me to our empress Tinker Bell!"

Freddo and Boab raised an eyebrow then followed the pixie.

They went into a large throne room in which sat a tall pixie with long black hair.

"Ahh!" She said, "Our travellers have arrived!"

"Erm… yeah," Freddo replied, "We only need to stay a day or two-"

"Stay as long as you want!" She interrupted,

"Erm… thanks," Boab said, "But I think we'd better go look for the shoe now!"

Boab grabbed Freddo by the arm and dragged him away from Tinker Bell.

"Man she's scary!" Boab exclaimed once they were out of earshot.

"You're tellin' me?" Freddo exclaimed, "C'mon! Let's just go look for this stupid shoe!"

Freddo and Boab quickly grabbed their things and headed for the Lakes of Gloria.

The Lakes of Gloria were just as eerie as the Mountains of Moria.

The water was pitch black and amongst the kelp and seaweed, dead bodies of the Gnomes floated.

"Yeugh!" Boab exclaimed, "Mingin' completely mingin' (mingin' is disgusting in Scottish)!"

"Just don't touch them and we'll be fine!" Freddo told him,

"But we've gotta swim in that!" Boab explained,

"Do we have to?" Freddo moaned,

"Yes, Grandalf would've wanted us to!" Boab cried,

"Okay okay! Don't get your shorts in a bunch! (American version of 'Don't get yer knickers in a twist')" Freddo said,

They stood for a while staring into the murky waters of Gloria.

"Are we gonna go in there or what?" Boab asked,

"Yeah!" Freddo replied,

They stood for 5 hours!

"Ok, I think we should _really_ go now," Boab said breaking the silence,

"Yeah good point," Freddo replied,

They looked at each other then jumped.

Freddo surfaced.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" He exclaimed,

Boab surfaced not long after in an ice cube.

"Cold cold cold cold cold cold!" Freddo complained, "So very cold! C'mon let's just swim!"

Freddo grabbed hold of the ice cube Boab was incased in and swam.

Halfway across the lake a giant fish ate Boab and Freddo.

**_Inside the fish…_**

"Great," Freddo said, "Just great!"

* * *

LOL I'm done! Muahahahahahahahaha!

Hope you enjoyed it! This wasn't as funny as the last one but I do not care! The next one'll be da best! Well…it might! Cos there'll be more! Muahahahahaha!


	3. Fight with the Writer

A/N: WHY ME? (sniffles) Never EVER do 3 stories at the same time! EVER! So… I'd better thank the reviewers; thank god there are only two!

Twister91: I'm glad you liked it Onyx (glares) pfft, alright. Malachite, Eclipse, I strongly advise you don't do that twin thing. It is creepy with a Capital H! LOL Enjoy matey!

Beastfire: yes they are scary eyebrows (shudders) don't remind me. LOL anyways hope you enjoy this one! LOL I'm very hyper now!

**Chapter 3: Fight with the Writer**

A few hours later, Boab had defrosted.

"Brrrr!" He shuddered, "It's freezing down here!"

Meanwhile, Freddo was sweating.

"Yeah," he said, "Whatever you want to believe mate! C'mon let's go wander, and see if we can get out of this fish!"

They walked around the giant fish for a while.

"Looks like we'll have to go through the digestive system!" Boab explained, "There's no other way,"

They looked at each other for a moment.

"Good luck dude," Freddo said proudly to Boab.

"And you," Boab returned,

A good few hours later, after being digested, Freddo and Boab were out!

"Air!" Freddo cried, "Beautiful beautiful air!"

"Hey Freddo!" Boab called, "I finally know why they named it the Lake of Gloria!"

"How come?"

"That fish,"

"Yeah?"

"It's Gloria!"

They swam through the Lake of Gloria, dodging the dead gnomes, and they came to the banks.

"Hallelujah!" Boab praised,

They flopped onto the shore and slept.

_**The next day…**_

When Freddo and Boab woke up, they were no longer on the banks of the Lake of Gloria, they were sitting in marshes. They had been dragged by a small cat-like creature who was sitting, peering down at them with big yellow eyes.

"Ahhh!" Freddo shrieked,

The creature jumped back and started to cry.

It had fur all over its body with cat eyes and ears, and a tail. It was wearing a yellow skirt and T-shirt. Must be a 'she'.

"Oh I'm sorry," Boab said sympathetically, "You gave my friend a fright, that's all."

She looked up at them.

"(sniff) Really?"

"Yes,"

Her face brightened up.

"Erm… why did you drag us here?" Freddo asked,

"Oh, you had a sign next to you saying 'The Living Marshes' like you were hitchhiking!"

Boab and Freddo's faces screwed up. They were thinking hard. What had happened last night?

_**Flashback…**_

_Freddo and Boab had been drinking Bacardi and Coke. With a hint of Vodka. They were staggering around the place like drunken pirates singing 'Yo ho ho'._

"_Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!" Boab sang, "fifteen men with big fat tums!"_

"_And I'll never ever ever ever think about the weather cos I'll never ever ever be a something!" Freddo ended,_

_They sang all night! Then they realised that they needed to continue looking for the Left Shoe. So they crabbed a piece of cardboard and wrote- _

_The Living Marshes_

_-on it._

_They swaggered to the roadside and sang as they looked for a ride._

_They were very unsuccessful so they slept on the banks of the Lake of Gloria…… again._

"Ooooh!" Freddo said in awe, "I remember that now!"

"I saw your sign and decided to take you where you needed to go," she told them,

………………………… silence……………………….

"So…," Boab began, "What's your name?"

"My name is Smokey,"

"Smokey?"

"Yes, Smokey,"

Freddo and Boab raised an eyebrow.

"Why Smokey?"

"Well my fur's grey!"

"Yeah but…,"

"But what?"

"You name is supposed to be something similar to the Lord of the Rings!"

"Says who?"

"Says the writer!"

"What writer?"

"The person who's writing this dialogue!"

"POTATOES!"

"What?"

"I don't know why I just said that,"

"See? It's our writer who likes to be random!"

"VINEGAR!"

"Wha!"

"Oh my god this is creepy!"

"ONE SHOE TO RULE THEM ALL!"

"What the-?"

"YOU SHALL ALL ROT IN THE PITS OF HELL!"

"THE SUN'LL COME OUT! TOMORROW!"

"BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THAT TOMORROW!"

"THERE'LL BE SUN!"

"Oh my god STOP IT YOU EVIL WRITER!"

…and there was silence…

Boab sighed-

"Thank you!"

* * *

LOL I love messing with their heads. It's so funny! LOL anyways, hope you all enjoyed it! Look forward for the next chapter! 


	4. The w00t

A/N: I am so happy! I can breathe! (takes deep breaths) ok I'm done being stupid. Enjoy the next chappie peoples!

Beastfire: (takes out tranquilizer and shoots Ivy) There we go ya mixed up mutant! Yes i have seen the piccy of Ivy and the triplets! U r great at drawing! hey I'll send u one i made of Krystal, Petalite and Spinel as unicorns! w00t! Enjoy!

Uniquechick: w00t! Pickles! LOL enjoy!

Purifying Wind: LOL glad u're enjoying it mate! Enjoy the next chappie!

Twister91: BREATHE! (shakes jet) U...HAVE...TO...BREATHE! LOL hope yer enjoying it mate! Hope you like the next chappie!

anwithout, onymname, ousadj:I'm glad you think this is boring, now a little word of advice, DON'T READ STORIES U THINK R GONNA BE BORING! IT IS POINTLESS! ND U MAKE THE WRITER FEEL REJECTED ND U DAMPEN SPIRITS! It is evil nd u r an evil imp of satan. Now enjoy the next chapter or GET OUT OF THIS WINDOW!

**Chapter 4: The w00t**

Freddo, Boab and Smokey were now at the Living Marshes.

The only way to describe it is like this, anyone been to Disney Land in Florida? Yes? Remember when you were young and your parents (much to their displeasure) took you on the Small World ride? You remember the song? "It's a small small world!" And I'm going to stop there because my mother is now screaming "Not again! NOT AGAIN!" and she has just jumped out of the window. Anyway-

Pixies and Forks all singing and dancing a happy tune in Gibberish surrounded Boab and Freddo in their boat.

"STOP! I WANNA GET OFF!" Freddo shrieked,

Smokey looked at them both and said-

"Don't tell me you've never been here before!"

"No we haven't," Boab told her,

"You have to wear ear plugs!" Smokey explained handing them a pair each, "You don't want to get lured into the marshes!"

Being as careful as they could, they made their way through the marshes.

At the end Freddo and Boab leaped out and ran into a bush.

Smokey rolled her eyes and followed them.

"What on Middle-Earth are you two doing?" She asked impatiently,

"We're hiding," Freddo said, "From them!"

Smokey rolled her eyes again.

"Freddo," Boab said, "We must stop this foolishness and we must continue looking for the Left Shoe!"

"You're looking for the shoe?" Smokey asked with wide eyes,

Freddo and Boab nodded.

"I see," She mused, "Follow me, you must learn the call of the Forks to get near the place to destroy the shoe!"

"And what would that be?" Freddo asked leaning in anxiously,

"The w00t!"

The w00t, an interesting call. It requires a loud voice and a height of stupidity to accomplish.

Smokey led them to a little cottage in a wood.

"Here we are," Smokey said, "The house of w00t!"

The entered through the front door and walked up to the reception desk.

"Hello welcome to the house of w00t!" The lady said, "How may I help you your w00tyness?"

"These guys need to learn the call of the w00t!" Smokey told the woman,

"Very well," The lady replied, "Go through those doors and he shall meet you,"

They said their thanks and walked through the doors and there before them stood a Fork.

w00t! w00ty Mc w00t w00t! Yes! I have finished this chapter! Muahahahahahahaha! I shall leave you in suspense for the next one! W00T! Review please!


	5. The Left Shoe

A/N: oh yes baby! I'm really doing well!

Freddo: but you're only doing 2 stories!

Me: hush Freddo! We don't want them to know that! Um… oops anyways! Thanks to the reviewers!

Uniquechick: LOL I do that all the time when it's midnight! I fall off my chair and then shout stupidly "I'm ok!" LOL anyways, yes Freddo must find the Left Shoe! W00T!

Freddo: what on Middle-Earth are you guys talking about?

Me: nothing concerning you (twiddles thumbs and looks innocent)

Freddo: O.o ok well Enjoy uniquechick!

Twister91: NOT AGAIN JET! KAI! CPR please,

Kai: (sighs and does CPR again)

Anyways! Glad yer enjoying it! Enjoy the next chapter!

Beastfire: LOL funny review! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes I'll send u the piccys I mention when I can be bothered to scan them through! w00t! Enjoy!

**Chapter 5: The Left Shoe**

Freddo and Boab looked at the Fork. They looked like Orcs but, yellow with blue polka dots.

"So," The Fork said, "You want to learn the call of the w00t do ya?"

"Yes sir!" Boab said saluting,

Freddo, Smokey and the Fork raised an eyebrow,

"Okaay," The Fork mused, "Well, my name is Mr. W00t, and I'm going to teach you the art of w00t!"

After 36 long hours of screeching and hollering, the w00t was mastered.

"Yahoo!" Freddo said in a hoarse voice, "We did it!"

"Ok you guys!" Smokey cried happily, "Let's go get that shoe!"

The three of them set off to where ever it is the shoe lay.

Smokey sniffed the air,

"It's over here!" She said as she walked towards a bush,

Freddo looked in the bush and returned with a brown dress shoe.

"It's the one shoe!" Boab cried,

"YAY!" Smokey squealed happily,

"Right! Where do we go now?" Freddo asked stupidly,

"Erm… we need to find the tailor to destroy the shoe!" Smokey told them,

"Right!" Boab said, "Let's get moving!"

* * *

This chappie was kinda short but who cares! THEY HAVE THE SHOE! w00t! w00t with me!

W00T!


	6. Quest to Mount Shoebox

A/N: w00t! Hello my people! Thanks for the great reviews!

Uniquechick: I'm saving something like that for the last chapter! You're giving me great ideas! Thanks! Enjoy this chapter!

Beastfire: LOL! Yes children! Don't fight with idiots, stupidity is contagious! WATCH OUT! LOL! Enjoy!

Randomrohanfreek: Yeah, it's always best to shut up about these things, LOL! Thanks for your review! Enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter 6: The Quest to Mount Shoebox!**

Freddo, Boab and Smokey, now in possession of the Shoe, started the trek to Mount Shoebox.

With the help of w00t they could get past the Forks easily.

They went back to the House of w00t and asked for some Fork disguises, which he gave them.

They got changed and then approached the Blue Gate.

"W00T!" Freddo yelled at the gate,

They waited.

No reply,

"Hmmm," Boab mused, "W00T!"

Nothing.

"You're doing it wrong!" Smokey whispered,

She cleared her throat then took a deep breath,

"W00T!"

It echoed all around the hills, and it successfully opened the gate,

"Wimps," She commented as they passed through,

It was a long trek over the rocky surface of the Fork territory.

"You need to be careful with the Forks," Smokey whispered, "They'll try and sell you things! So keep your wits about you! HEY!"

Smokey looked around to see that Freddo and Boab were no longer with her and were standing next to a Fork looking at whatever item he had to sell.

"FREDDO!" Smokey bellowed, "BOAB!"

She darted up to them and dragged them away from the Fork.

"What did I just finish telling you guys!" She demanded,

"I wasn't really listening," Boab began, "All I heard was something about Forks and something about my wits,"

Smokey slapped her face,

"I'm _surrounded_ by idiots!" She exclaimed,

"Sorry Smokes," Freddo said, "We should listen to you more often, now let's just get rid of this stupid shoe! It's weighing me down!"

They walked towards Mount Shoebox and on top of it stood a huge pair of feet.

"They're Solron's feet," Smokey informed them,

"How come he aint wearing shoes?" Freddo asked stupidly,

"You really are idiots!" She said, "You're holding one of is shoe's and the other one's already been destroyed!"

"Oh," Freddo said,

They continued onwards and soon they were standing at the foot of the mountain.

"Here we are," Smokey gasped, "We've made it!"

"Thank you for all the help Smokey," Boab said, "We couldn't have done it without you!"

"No problem!" Smokey replied smiling, "Any time my friends!"

"Right," Freddo said firmly, "Let's get rid of this shoe once and for all!"

* * *

W00T! That chappie's done! WAY HEY! Review please and I'll get the last chapter up ASAP! 


	7. The One Shoe Destroyed!

A/N: Here's the final chapter! WOWOWOWOWOW!

Thanks to all the reviewers! YOU ARE THE GREATEST! (bows down to the reviewers)

**Chapter 7: The One Shoe… Destroyed!**

Freddo, Boab and Smokey started their trek up Mount Shoebox.

It was a steep climb with many obstacles,

They came towards the Blank Gate.

"Erm… Smokey?" Freddo asked looking embarrassed, "I think you'd better do this,"

Smokey laughed then hollered-

"W00T!"

Once again, it echoed all around the place,

The gate opened.

They scrambled up another part of the mountain,

As they progressed, Freddo felt a sudden boost of energy.

His pupils turned to tiny dots and then he started to bounce around Smokey and Boab,

"Where're we going? Are we there yet? Where are we? When're we gonna be there? What's for dinner? Are we there yet?"

"NO!" Smokey screamed, "NOW SHUT UP!"

Freddo looked hurt then started to cry uncontrollably,

"I HATE YOU! YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE!"

"Oh dear god!" Boab sighed, "What is up with him!"

"I think it's the shoe!" Smokey cried, "Making him… hyper!"

As they progressed up the mountain, Freddo would not shut up,

Smokey was handling ok but Boab was getting to the point of twitching,

"Are we there yet?"

"No,"

"Are we there yet?"

"No,"

"Are we there yet?"

"No,"

"Are we there yet?"

"No,"

"Are we there yet?"

"No,"

"Are we there yet?"

"No,"

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

"Keep calm Boab!" Smokey whispered,

"How can I!" Boab argued, "With that terror bouncing around me!"

"Simple," She said, "Just think of tranquil thoughts!"

"Er… _what_ tranquil thoughts?" Boab asked,

"I'm sure you have some in that thick head of yours!" She cried,

"Fine!" Boab sighed, "I'll have a look!"

…………………… (Deep thinking in process)…………………….

"Ah ha!" Boab said, "I've got some good thoughts!"

After a long climb, with Freddo bouncing around them, they finally reached the entrance to Mount Shoebox.

"Finally!" Boab cried, "We made it!"

Smokey grabbed Freddo and dragged him to the edge of the fiery pits.

"Right Freddo," she told him, "Throw it in!"

"Huh?" Freddo asked stupidly,

Smokey slapped her face,

"Not only did the shoe give you hyperness!" She exclaimed, "It gave you stupidity along the way!"

Freddo giggled like a school boy,

"You look funny!" he said poking her,

"OW! Quit it!" She snapped,

"How're we gonna make him throw in the shoe?" Boab asked looking panicky,

"I have an idea!" Smokey exclaimed, "Hey Freddo! See that shoe you have? The magic shoe?"

"Magic shoe?" Freddo said taking it out and examining it,

"Yes it's a magic shoe!" Smokey told him, "But it's covered in germs! You could get ill and die!"

Freddo gasped,

"I don't want to die!" Freddo exclaimed,

"Then you need to put the shoe into the cleaning juice down there!" Smokey explained,

"Ahhh!" Freddo mused,

He looked down at the scorching hot liquid.

And then he looked at the shoe.

With one last glance at Smokey, he threw it in.

Just like in Lord of the Rings, the lava began to rise.

"RUN!" Boab yelled,

He grabbed Smokey's hand and Freddo followed them out.

They collapsed onto a rock.

A few moments later, giant humming birds cam by and picked them up, Grandalf upon one of them.

With the One Shoe destroyed, the land of Upper-Earth was a place of peace, quiet and tranquillity.

Well… that's what _they_ think!


End file.
